


One Step Forward

by thecompletebookworm



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: It's not super explicit, Just you know Aaron being introspective about his relationship with Andrew, POV Outsider, References to Tilda and Drake, and also about why he hates Neil, but mentions of blood and abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28188165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecompletebookworm/pseuds/thecompletebookworm
Summary: Based on the prompt: “Andrew and Aaron talking and solving their problems”"If you really don't care about Andrew, why does Neil bother you so much?"   Dobson asked during their Wednesday session.Aaron dug his fingers into the couch.  He hated this.  Hated that the only time he could get answers out of Andrew was when he was sitting in front of a shrink.   A shrink who was undoubtedly on his brother's side. And that in order to get answers he had to rip himself raw first.
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94
Collections: AFTG Exchange Winter 2020





	One Step Forward

**Author's Note:**

  * For [avengerpercy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengerpercy/gifts).



> This was written for Cristal for the AFTG winter exchange. It's my first time playing in the AFTG sandbox, so I hope this meets your expectations. More twinyards than Andreil even though I was trying to capture Andreil from Aaron's perspective. 
> 
> Betsy and the joint sessions set the backdrop for this fic even though I am not a therapist and also not trying to make some statement about therapy in general (Personally I’m a big fan, but also recognize that Aaron really doesn’t seem to be in we’re in his POV.) I’m not trying to demonize Aaron or Andrew here. Aaron just fundamentally misunderstands Andrew. Also Raven King/Drake Incident references.

Ever since Aaron had found out Andrew existed, he’d felt unsteady. It wasn't just the sudden knowledge of how different his life could have been if Tilda hadn't decided to come back to get him or even if she'd just taken the other baby. It was the fact his brother was a mass of contradictions piled on top of each other and every aspect of their relationship was built on the idea of one step forward and two steps back.

Aaron wasn't an idiot. When the officer at the stupid game had mentioned Andrew, Aaron didn't expect his long-lost brother to immediately love him. This wasn't a television show. He knew by now that blood only went so far, that it hadn't stopped his mother from raising her hand to him or Uncle Luthor from sending Nicky away only for his cousin to come back a shell of himself. But he couldn't deny he wanted it to work desperately, for there to be another little boy out there whose life might be made better by having a brother in it. 

His first step forward a letter that had to be rewritten at least twice because everything sounded wrong. His bedroom trash can overflowed with pieces of notebook paper crumpled in frustration or with ink smeared from tears he'd never admit to anyone he'd actually shed. Aaron must have spent hours writing the letter, typing it up in stolen time at the school library and sneaking to the post office while Mom had been out of it. 

Hours completely wasted when the only reply was two words: "Fuck Off."

That should have been the sign to leave things well enough alone. 

But instead, he'd taken the return address and written a second letter to "the guardians of Andrew Doe." 

And instead of an answer from his brother, Aaron had gotten a voicemail saying Andrew had gone to Juvey. 

Even the slightest hint of progress was met with resistance. 

Gaining a brother meant losing his mom and never being in control of his decisions anymore. 

Andrew lived by his own rules, an unspoken tally system of betrayals where Aaron would never be the one who measured up. Andrew wouldn't say it, because Andrew didn't say anything now that he was off the drugs. Aaron knew his brother only cared about him in the context of proving that he'd never broken their deal. Until he called the whole thing off for Josten. 

Josten, the idiot that would say things like "Andrew doesn't lie" as if he actually believed him. As if there truly was some magical code his brother followed that made sense. 

"If you really don't care about Andrew, why does Neil bother you so much?" Dobson asked during their Wednesday session.

Aaron dug his fingers into the couch. He hated this. Hated that the only time he could get answers out of Andrew was when he was sitting in front of a shrink. A shrink who was undoubtedly on his brother's side. And that in order to get answers he had to rip himself raw first. 

"I understand that therapy isn't for everyone," She'd said smiling gently during their first mandatory meeting freshman year. "More than that, therapy with me might not be your answer, so don't let today stop you from seeking help in the future if that's what you decide you want. I can direct you to one of my colleagues who you might feel more comfortable with." 

They'd been meeting for almost a year now and Aaron still wasn't comfortable with her, no matter how many cups of hot chocolate she offered or how many smiles she gave. They'd come a long way from the complete silence and blank expression of his first individual session or even the harsh words the first time he'd shown up to Andrew's session, but it wasn't comfortable by any means. 

The point was he wasn't about to pour his heart out to her even if Andrew wasn't in the room. With Andrew there, Aaron had no good way to answer the question without giving too much of himself away again, of being hurt when everything went to hell. Still, Aaron couldn't help but let the multitude of answers flow over him. 

Because Josten waltzes in, every ounce of him screaming lie and danger, and this team bends over backward for him. Because Aaron's seen enough to know Josten is dangerous. Because he will kill him if Josten doesn't keep his big mouth from bringing the mafia down on them again before Aaron graduates and he can't handle another murder trial. Because Josten makes it so easy, throwing as many insults back as he gives. Those are the easy answers because Aaron's life doesn't revolve around Andrew. He can hate Josten because Josten is a piece of shit who makes every aspect of his life harder. 

But that's also not the whole truth. Because he saw the way Andrew looked at him in Baltimore, the tender movements in his hands completely at odds with the angry spark in his eyes. Because Andrew hates people touching him and yet he doesn't hesitate to wrap his hand around the back of Josten's neck. Because there's something aggravating in the way that Andrew can look at Josten and see something precious when he never looks at Aaron like that. 

Aaron doesn't want to think his life revolves around Andrew, but his hatred of Josten certainly does. It’s partially jealousy. Why does this nobody get easy answers from Andrew? What makes him so special? 

But the larger issue is that Aaron has seen Andrew broken. As much as Aaron wants to wish Drake away, he can’t. He’ll never be able to get Andrew’s face out of his head or the manic laugh left by the drugs. There are nights where he wakes up feeling like he still has the blood on his hands, that he’ll never be free of the feeling of Andrew knotting his fingers through his hair in worry when Andrew’s the one covered in bruises. Seeing his brother like that once was enough to break him. He doesn’t understand how Andrew can let Josten so close when Josten is a walking danger magnet. He doesn’t know what he would do when Josten inevitably hurts Andrew, because that’s the type of danger Andrew can’t just stab with a knife. 

Betsy gave a small cough and Aaron knew he'd been quiet too long. He avoided Betsy's gaze to look at the clock. They were already a few minutes over their time. He wouldn’t have answered at all, just turned back to glare at Betsy until she dismisses them both for the day except he saw Andrew. 

Andrew was still angled away from him on the opposite end of the couch. His mouth was still turned in a slight frown, but Andrew’s gaze had sharpened. Even months ago, Aaron might have missed it. It was a sign of amusement, slight exasperation maybe, but also one of want. Aaron had never seen that expression for any reason other than Josten, and now it’s directed at him.

“Josten isn’t safe.” 

Andrew gave a huff that might even be considered laughter.

“I’m serious. You’re giving him the power to hurt you. Just because you don’t care about your own wellbeing, doesn’t mean I’m going to stand by and let him get away with it.” 

“I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.” Andrew waved his hand dismissively. “Which is good because you’re shit at picking the right battles.” 

Aaron groaned. “What's that supposed to mean?” 

“Neil won’t hurt me.” He said it like it should be obvious like he can’t believe Aaron missed something so fundamental. 

“But how can you know that?” 

“How do you know Kaitlyn won’t hurt you?” The words were thrown like a weapon to end this conversation. 

But Aaron isn’t about to rise to the bait. Andrew seemed to think that every girl was just going to be another Tilda, that Aaron would let them hurt him for the scraps of affection. He knew Andrew didn’t decide Kaitlyn was safe out of the goodness of his heart, so his answer made no sense. 

“Why shouldn’t I be worried about Neil hurting you?” Aaron repeated himself more directly, even calling the idiot by his first name as a sign of goodwill. 

Andrew looked down at his hands, his right-hand tracing seemingly random places around each of the knuckles on his left. The gesture seemed both familiar and wrong. Finally Andrew took a deep breath and looked directly at Aaron. 

“He listens when I say no.”

The words are simple, but Aaron can hear the depth of meaning there. He gave a slight nod.

Andrew must still see that he doesn’t fully understand, because he continued softly, “He promised he’d stay” before nodding at Betsy and leaving the two of them alone in the room. 

Aaron doesn’t hear Betsy’s chipper goodbye or even comprehend most of practice afterward. His mind is reeling and even though Andrew only gave him ten words, it feels like one hell of a step forward. 

It’s only later at one of the Fox movie nights that Aaron realized why Andrew’s fidgeting looked wrong. He’d seen that gesture before. Andrew’s right hand gently tracing the scars on Neil’s as they sit side by side in silence, barely acknowledging each other but still taking pleasure in each other’s presence. It’s easy to miss the moment when Neil leans easily back into Andrew and Andrew only tugs their scarred hand closer. 

Aaron hated that it’s this little action is what finally makes him understand. Andrew’s words about Kaitlyn no longer felt like a dig. It was his brother’s roundabout way of trying to phrase his relationship with Neil in a way Aaron would understand. When you love someone, the world seems safer with them in it. Andrew might not have said the word love, but he didn’t have to.


End file.
